by Karyn L. Beach

Wow. That’s what I said about halfway through the comedy, The Brothers Solomon. It wasn’t a “Wow, this is so funny!” Nor was it a “Wow, I just can’t stop laughing!” It was a “Wow, I haven’t laughed yet!” kind of wow. From one of the stars of Arrested Development (that was a wow in a million good ways) and a star of Saturday Night Live, I expected at least a chuckle. Oh, and I did get that chuckle, as the outtakes played during the credits after the movie was over. Wow.

The Brothers Solomon are two thirty-something brothers who were home schooled at the North Pole. Now living in the States (California most likely), they struggle to find love in the big city. There is John (Will Arnett from Arrested), the older of the two and the leader with his perennially can-do and always positive attitude. Then there is Dean (Will Forte of Saturday Night Live) as the younger of the two with his own perennially can-do and always positive attitude. Their idea of a decent first date is to tell a woman that her pretty face makes up for her less-than-great figure or to tell a fat girl that she’s got ‘more cushion for the pushin.’ Roll your eyes here, I did.

Early on, the brothers get a call that their father is ill. By the time they get to the hospital, he’s slipped into a coma. However, in his last statement to the doctor, he said his one regret is that he never held his grandchild. Of course, the boys decide to grant their father his last wish. Dating, clearly doesn’t work. Adoption didn’t work. So they put an ad on Craig’s List and find a woman, Janine (Kristen Wiig, another SNL alum) willing to carry their child, much to the dismay of her boyfriend, James (Chi McBride). After this set-up, hilarity is supposed to ensue but it never does.

It’s supposed to be funny that the brothers always flash there 100 kilowatt grins. It’s supposed to be funny when James ties everything back to him being black. It’s supposed to be funny that every time they get the least bit excited they start running around like hyperactive kindergarteners. None of it is funny.

As I write this, my dog is laying next to my desk chewing on a piece of rawhide — that is funnier than anything in this movie. Before I sat down to write this, I put away a few bags of groceries. Again, I had a better time putting a bunch of Lean Cuisine Paninis in the freezer than I had at any point in this movie. Later on, I’ll redo my nail polish and guess what? I’ll probably have more laughs then.

Before I do my nails, I think I'll vacuum the carpet, and guess what? Running the damn Dirt Devil will be a better time than The Brothers Solomon was.