by Karyn Beach

Movies based on superheroes are usually hit or miss. For every hit – Batman, Spiderman – there is a miss – Fantastic Four, The Hulk, arguably the latest Superman. Yet, movie based on videogames almost universally stink - Resident Evil, Silent Hill – come to mind as a few we’ve reviewed here. Hitman is not the film that will turn this trend around.

The hitman in question is Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant). He’s a cold, calculating assassin who’s been trained since birth to be a killing machine. He doesn’t have an actual name but he does have a bar code tattoo in the back of his bald head. The lack of a name and the code are supposed reinforce the fact that 47 doesn’t know how to be human. He’s a machine with a serial number that’s ready to be scanned and purchased like any other commodity. So, he’s told to kill the Russian president and he does … or so he thinks, moments later, the president makes an appearance. He can’t be dead if he’s making an appearance!!! Our boy 47, has been set up! Now both Interpol (in the form of Dougray Scott, formerly of Desperate Housewives) and a KGB agent (in the form of Robert Knepper, currently of Prison Break) are on his tail. Along for the ride is Nika (Olga Kurylenko) a prostitute who is running from some of the same guys who are after 47.

You know what? I just didn’t care. Just sat there thinking of better movies. Bourne has better action and Damon gives a much better performance. Willis does the bald thing in the latest Die Hard film and does it a lot better than this guy. I get that he’s been raised as a human android, devoid of feeling and human experience. But a better actor or maybe an actor with better direction could have given 47, at least a glimmer of humanity. As it is, I just didn’t care about him or his plight. I still don’t.

Kurylenko’s only purpose seemed to be showing a little skin and amping up the nudity. She and Olyphant have zero chemistry. I get that the human android might not understand sexual chemistry but they had no chemistry together on any level. Scott and Knepper are wasted here as was my time.

When it comes to translating video games to films, Hitman is yet another miss.