Ben Affleck is the actor critics love to hate. No matter what he does, he's bound to get bad reviews. The fact that he hasn't picked the best vehicles lately (Gigli, Paycheck) hasn't helped him much. Surviving Christmas has critics competing for who can land the lowest blows. I don't hate Ben Affleck. I actually like him. I truly do. He was very good in Changing Lanes, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Good Will Hunting. I even liked him as Jack Ryan in Sum of All Fears. Yet, I can't give him a good review just because I like him. As much as it pains me to do so, I'm going to have to jump on the critics bandwagon. I survived Surviving Christmas and if you want to do the same, just don't see it.

Affleck plays Drew Latham, a flashy multimillionaire ad exec who might have to spend Christmas alone after his girlfriend dumps him for *gasp* suggesting that they by-pass the usual Christmas cheer and fly first class to Fiji on Christmas Day. The nerve of him! (Personally, I couldn't have packed my bags fast enough. Wait, he's a millionaire so why pack at all? Let's just buy stuff in Fiji!). After not being able to find anyone to spend Christmas with, he ends up at his 'boyhood' home and pays the family living there a quarter of a million dollars to be his family for the holidays. We have Tom (James Gandolfini) as the stereotypical gruff dad. There's his under appreciated wife, Christine (Catherine O'Hara). And of course, we have the Internet porn addicted teenage son, Brian (Josh Zuckerman). And it wouldn't be a movie without their beautiful, cynical daughter, Alicia (Christina Applegate). Drew even goes all out and hires a local actor to portray Grandpa Doo-Dah (Bill Macy). Hilarity ensures. 

Or not. Ben Affleck's greatest strength is his charm but it is misspent here. He tries too hard to be goofy and it just doesn't work. He's a funny guy in interviews and the several times he's hosted Saturday Night Live, he's displayed great comic timing. Yet all his attempts at comedy fall flat here. But at least he was trying. James Gandolfini was stiff and unbelievable. He didn't even look like he wanted to be in the movie. Catherine O'Hara is usually a wonderful comedic actress but the only funny thing about her performance was her frizzy, at-home perm. Incredibly, even after getting a complete make-over she still looked a mess.

The actors aren't the only ones to blame for this disaster. After all, the script was uninspired and just plain not funny. Drew is supposed to learn that money doesn't buy happiness but that's a hard lesson to learn when you pay people to pretend to be your family. Throughout the entire movie, everyone (but the daughter) makes it clear that the money, not their growing affection for Drew is their prime motivation. 

Director, Mike Mitchell didn't know if he wanted a dark Christmas satire, like The Ref or a modern day Christmas Vacation. The dark moments aren't dark enough and the slapstick moments aren't over the top enough. Having said all that, Surviving Christmas does work as a holiday picture. It's being released a week before Halloween and as far as bad movies go this one is so bad it's scary.