If Twisted actually had a good twist or two maybe it would have lived up to its name. But it doesn’t. The latest in the long line of Ashley Judd thrillers (Kiss the Girls, Double Jeopardy, High Crimes) arrived in theatres today with a resounding thud.

Jessica Shepard (Ashley Judd) has just been promoted to homicide, with a little help from her mentor/surrogate father John Mills (Samuel L. Jackson). But Jessica has demons. She’s got a bad temper, a possible drinking problem, and a penchant for promiscuity. She’s also haunted by the tragic death of her parents when she was a child. Her first homicide case becomes even more complicated when Jessica realizes that the victim is a former one-night stand.

I figured out who the killer was about 10 minutes into the movie just by using basis movie thriller logic. At that point, the only thing left to figure out was motive. When the motive was finally revealed, it didn’t make too much sense. The moment of truth should leave you with an “Aha!” and not a “Huh?”

Ashley Judd has played this role many times before. Her performance here seems to say “I’ve played this role many times before.” Jessica was supposed to be tough and sexy but she just came across as lonely and a bit desperate. Andy Garcia was gorgeous as her partner but something was missing. I was hoping for more chemistry between Garcia and Judd but there were just no sparks. When it comes to Sam Jackson, it seems like he’s either Cool SJ (Shaft, Pulp Fiction, Formula 51) or Wise Samuel L. Jackson (Star Wars, SWAT, XXX). Personally, I like Cool SJ the best. But he’s here in a ridiculous wig as Wise Samuel Jackson. He’s taught Jessica how to be a good cop and he’s here to impart his wisdom as she solves her first homicide. Boring.

But what makes Twisted so twist-less are the gaping holes in the plot and the ridiculous leaps in logic we are forced to make. If a detective happened to know all of the victims in a serial murder investigation and had no credible explanation for her whereabouts when they disappeared, how would she still be on the case? I could give more examples but I don’t want to spoil it for you, should you choose to ignore my review and see it anyway.